


Is This What You Always Loved Me For?

by suicider00m



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, The Academy Is...
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, M/M, Not Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:27:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9822653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicider00m/pseuds/suicider00m
Summary: It's not Gabe's fault.





	

**Author's Note:**

> im having feelings

It's not Gabe’s fault.

He doesn't know what he's doing when he holds William, when his fingers touch behinds the boy’s back with his hands on William's waist. He doesn't know what he's doing when his hands wrap around the boy's thigh with room to spare, how fingers overlap with one hand around both the boy’s wrists. He doesn't know what he's doing when he tells him, “You're so small, tiny.” He doesn't know.

William knows he should tell Gabe the truth, say _something,_ but his fucked up head actually _likes_ it. He likes that Gabe likes how skinny he is, likes how they get off on the size difference in very different ways. He likes how fragile he feels when Gabe pulls him onto his lap, likes seeing how tiny he is compared to the man. He likes how he can feel Gabe’s fingers around his entire neck with just one of the man’s hands wrapped around his throat. He likes feeling like Gabe could break him.

He supposes that's why he's not thinking about getting better; Gabe likes him when he's small, if William gained weight then Gabe wouldn't love him anymore. It's not the truth but to William’s messed up mind it makes sense and even in his rational moments, when he can see that he's already taken it too far but still taking it further, he doesn't care because it's enough of a justification to keep going.

So he keeps going. Black coffee and cigarettes until he caves, and Gabe doesn't even notice. He thinks it's just part of William’s aesthetic, part of being a ‘tortured artist,’ but it's so much worse than that. William knows, he _knows _he should say something, but he won't.__

__He's only ever felt loved with Gabe, and Gabe has only ever loved him when he's skinny._ _

**Author's Note:**

> hmu @ twentyoneboyfriends on tumblr


End file.
